Christmas at Our Crib

It is Christmas Eve. I just asked Ben to go wake up his sister so we can whip this house into shape.

I got the impish grin. Scary.

"Be nice!" I called to him as he climbed the stairs.

The next thing I heard was an innocent voice calling down to me, "Mom, where's the nearest outlet?"

This could NOT be good.

The next thing I heard was, well, I'll let the photos tell the story...



And this was Micah's response:



When she did get up and come downstairs, he followed her, guitar in hand, playing a song, making up the words as he went:

Wake up, Micah
Get out of bed
get up
uncover your head

Brush your hair
Brush your teeth
get out of bed
I'll feed you beef (we had steak last night - leftovers)

It went on and on like that, him making up the words as he went, all of us laughing.

Good thing she is such a good sport!

My Favorite Photos...

This is probably my favorite photo of Micah and Ben. It shows how close they are, how much they love each other. It shows their personalities and is just a fun photo.



This is another favorite photo of mine. This was taken when Micah was getting ready for her very first school dance. She was (and is) absolutely gorgeous!



I also love this shot of Ben. He loves his music and this one of him playing his guitar just tells it all.



I have some other favorite photos, but we'll get to that later...

Exits and Entries...

Tom Stoppard said that every exit is an entry somewhere else. As I enter my new life, my new world, I have had time to reflect on what I am exiting. I am leaving behind certain people and things in my life who would have held me back, been overly critical and lacked the dreaming, ambition and hope that has gotten me to this point. I have grown while others in my life did not. That is just a fact of life that, and while I do not celebrate it, I do not regret it either.

Last night the kids and I spent our first night in our new home. We are so excited about it! It is a beautiful little townhouse in a community that is a little more upscale. It is located in the wealthiest county in the state which means top notch schools, reduced crime rate and just a much nicer place to live. It also means I pay a little more, but it is worth it. Plus, I can afford it. :-) Even without the child support that I haven't seen a dime of in who knows how long, I can still afford it.

Best of all, I am doing this ON MY OWN. I don't have to depend on some man to support me, to pay my bills, to keep my head above water. I am doing it on my own, supporting my children and building our life here. I admit, it is a little scary sometimes; that is an awful lot of responsibility, but I know that I can do it. I have faith in myself and I have faith that God will direct my life in the best way for me and the best way that serves Him.

Plus, I have awesome friends who will always be there to help me if I ever get in a bind.

So, this weekend will be very busy, what with setting up our new home and doing fun stuff with the kids. We are going to see a movie this weekend with some friends and have some dinner. I have wonderful friends who are very dear to me. I would be lost without them.

Maybe some time next week I will post photos of our new place...

Hell Week...

Well, I guess things are coming together in my life. This has probably been the most stressful week yet. I know that I am building my new life with my kids, but it is so hard doing it all alone.

And I am really feeling alone lately. Sometimes I wish I had someone special in my life, some constant, to be there by my side, someone I could depend on and know they would be there for me.

Don't get me wrong, I have Jeffrey and he is a wonderful friend, but sometimes a person just needs more. I miss being in a close, committed relationship - sometimes anyway. :-)

I am glad, though, that my previous life is now behind me.

There is just something about connecting with someone at the end of the day, sitting together, close, talking, laughing, unwinding. There doesn't have to be anything more, but just knowing that someone is there for you, that you can rely on that one person, makes all the difference.

I suppose that will come eventually, though. And I am patient. It just stinks having to go through this stressful time all by myself. I am feeling really alone lately and I know it is because of everything that has happened over the past six months. My life has so dramatically changed and I am literally reeling.

It isn't so bad being on my own, though. I get along with myself. I have always been the "strong one" and can certainly take care of myself and anyone else who comes along.

But sometimes I think how nice it would be to not have to be so strong, to have someone to rely on who will be there for me, let me hide in their arms and take shelter in their heart. That is what I have always wanted and what has always been elusive to me.

Maybe I am not meant to have something like that, I honestly do not know. I have felt for most of my life that I was supposed to be alone. People tend to look to me for strength, not to cherish or protect. As an introvert, I believe that is part of our nature - standing alone and being the "strong one."

What I do know is that the only person you can truly depend on is yourself. Sometimes I would just like a partner...

Shipping a Cat...

OK, yeah, I am apartment hunting right now, start my new job on the 25th. I am really excited. This is the beginning of my new life!

So, many of my things are with my ex in Arizona and I am trying to get them up here. My car, some furniture, my books and other possessions are there with him and he is getting them together so that I can arrange to have them shipped up here.

My kids are coming up next week as well, but one important family member, my daughter's cat Osiris, is presenting a bit of a challenge.

The airline that my kids are flying up on does not take pets (unless we can pass Osiris off as a seeing eye cat -- somehow I don't think that they would buy that). I thought I would check out a pet transportation service to see if that option was doable.

NOT!

I called the place and this well spoken lady with a faint English accent answered the phone. The conversation went something like this:

Lady - Hello?

Me - Yes, I need to have my cat transported from Phoenix, AZ to Washington, DC.

Lady - OK, when do you want him to come up there?

Me - Around August 18

Lady - Oh, that is not possible

Me - Oh, OK, thank you

Lady - (talking to someone else) Oh, we can do it on the 18th

Me - Great! What do I need to do?

(crazy) Lady - Well, in order for me to give you a quote, you need to pay $12

Me (thinking) - You're kidding, right? I mean, what kind of company does this? Makes you pay to get a quote to give them business? (I should have caught a clue right there)

(psycho)Lady - But I can tell you that it will cost at least $1500 to have the cat transported to you (does using the word "transport" as opposed to "shipped" increase the price? Yikes!)

Me - How much? (knocked the wind out of me)

(Manson Family Level Psycho)Lady - $1500. If you need us to supply a carrier the price increases. (Just what do you suppose the carriers are made of? I was afraid to ask, scared they would charge me for that question too!)

Me - You do know that it is just a cat??

(Delusional Psycho) Lady - Yes

Me - It's not even a purebred cat!

(Nuttier than a Fruitcake) Lady - (cool as a cucumber) Yes

Me - Uh, thank you, but I am still looking around.

I could not get off the phone fast enough! I mean, it costs more to ship the cat up here than it does to ship my car! And my car is actually functional! But I can't disappoint my daughter, she would be heartbroken without her cat. So I pressed on.

I began calling airlines. One problem: the airlines will not ship live cargo if the temperature is above 85 degrees. Well, Phoenix is hitting 100 plus right now.

Great.

So after many calls, I find myself talking to an enthusiastic gentleman at Delta who tells me that if I can get a "certificate of acclimation" from a veternarian, then I can ship the cat as live cargo through the airline.

So, I call my ex and give him the joyous news that he will have to take the cat to the vet (I will pay the bill-he is always broke). He was less than thrilled, but I think that his desire to have the cat gone far surpassed his irritation at the inconvenience. He agreed.

So, now I have a vet bill and the cost just to ship the cat is greater than an airline ticket for one of the kids. If I have to get another carrier it will be more.

WOW

I keep telling myself to keep my eye on the prize - my new life, new home, new job, new friends and so much more...

Everything really is going my way, I have never been happier than I am right now. I have some very, very special people in my life and am experiencing things I have never experienced in my life - acceptance. I can't tell you how wonderful that feels.

So, I will press on, making arrangements for the cat. It is worth the hassle. Maybe the pet transport and airlines see something that I have missed. Maybe there is more to this cat than meets the eye...

Sigh...

Today is only Tuesday...

Honestly, I know that yesterday was at least a week long!

Metro Monday

So, yeah, Metro was HELL this morning!

It started out, OK, I stepped out onto the street and into the Washington sauna bright and early. I was right on schedule. I stopped long enough to plug into my MP3 and I was off. It is only 4 blocks or so to the Metro station from where I am staying so it was a rather quick walk.

I was warm, but it wasn’t too bad. I was listening to a little Korn to get my day started. I hit all the Walk signs and breezed right through, Life was good.

Then I got to the Q Street entrance of the Dupont Circle Metro.

All I can say is W-O-W.

The escalator was out. Not good.

If you have ever been to the Q Street Station, you know that the escalator there is something in the neighborhood of 5,000 miles long. Well, maybe not that long, but it is pretty long and very steep. Now, something I have not yet revealed to you is that I am acrophobic. VERY acrophobic. This means that when I am confronted with heights, I get dizzy and almost paralyzed with fear.

But down I went into the bowels of the city, one tentative step at a time.

At this point you may be asking why I did not simply take the elevator down.

Just shut up, OK? I don’t want to talk about it! (Actually, it did not occur to me until I was halfway down the stalled escalator and had to stop because I had a tremendous wave of dizziness.)

I survived, though, and made it to the bottom without falling or passing out (Score!).

My ride to the Gallery Place station was uneventful, but, man, once I got on the Yellow Line, the story changed. The Yellow Line was having major issues this morning and we sat at the GP station for what seemed eons although I am sure it was only 10 – 15 minutes or so.

I finally made it to L’Enfant Plaza, somewhat warmer, a little wilted and running late. Terrific. So, I go to the gates and wouldn’t you know, my SmartCard refused to work. The nice attendant checked it for me, told me it was good, the gate just didn’t open. He let me through the little gate. I felt so special.

As I approached the escalator to ascend to the street I noticed that there were more “over achiever power climbers” on the escalators than usual. As I got closer I realized that the up escalators were out.

You’re kidding me, right?

And there I stood; a dilemma before me…

Do I climb the 80 gazillion stairs to escape the Metro Station and get to work? Or do I locate the elevator, dodge cars to get across the street and get to work?

Oh! The choices!

Forget it. Not climbing the stairs; not that proud. Elevator it is. So, I wandered around down there, looking for the elevator. I found it (just followed the crowd) and squeezed onto the tiny, hot, airless car along with at least 10 of my now closest friends (we were real up close and personal!).

I hit the street, made it across (yea!) and got to work just a couple of minutes late. I was hot, sweaty, tired and almost crabby, but the cute security guard flirted with me and said I looked nice today, then a lady on the elevator complimented my blouse and said I always wore the prettiest clothes. When I got to my desk, my friend was there and I was able to give her a couple of blouses. She was very happy to get them and that made me feel good.

Now it is a little after 9 am and I am going for my morning coffee in a little under an hour.

Life is good.

It’s gonna be a great day!

Looking to the Weekend...

It is finally Friday!

I am looking forward to the weekend, need to rest and recharge.

As I move through this personal journey upon which I have embarked, I am noticing things about the people who have been in my life.

Some of them are extremely unhealthy! I don't mean physically unhealthy, I mean emotionally and mentally unhealthy. Some have serious issues.

It seems that the healthier I get, the more glaring their unhealthiness is to me. It is a shock that I did not see it before, but I guess I had to get myself healthy and level before I could see others for what they are.

I am not just talking about romantic relationships, I mean many people in my life. Although, I will say that some of the people with whom I was romantically linked were and are not very emotionally healthy and I can see patterns in their families as well. Why did I not see this before?

I am very happy, though, that I am now at a point in my life where I have recognized that things that I needed to change, made the changes and am SO MUCH better because of it.

Unfortunately, I must leave the sick people in my rearview mirror...

My Latest Rant Regarding Insecure Males...

If you are easily offended (i.e. insecure and intimidated) you probably don't want to read beyond this sentence. Those of you who know me know that I tell it like it is and tend to be a rather strong personality. Those of you who really know me are shaking your heads, smiling and saying to yourselves, "Oh, boy, here she goes again."

Oh, and you secure males...enjoy. I am sure this will look familiar. You will probably recognize these guys in some of your buddies. Have a good laugh.

It seems that lately I am encountering more and more insecure men. What a headache! While I do know some men who are wonderfully secure and sure of themselves, I know many who are not.

Note to you guys out there…insecurity is SO not sexy! I realize that insecurity is a natural step in a child’s development, but, please, by the time a boy reaches adulthood he should be well past the insecure, one-upmanship, competitive, derisive, childish antics! Enough already!

The way I see it, when a man feels threatened by me because of his own insecurity, that is HIS problem. It is not my job to boost his fragile male ego and pump up his self esteem. I have three children I am raising; I don’t need another child on my hands. If this seems cold, try walking a mile in my shoes. As I said, I am fed up. I am one of the most supportive people you will ever meet, but when I come up against these boors I can quite easily turn away and turn off that nurturing, caring, supportive nature.

I regularly come up against insecure males who want to compete with me and (I guess) impress the incessant disclosure of their resumes.

I can tell you right now that not one of these men knows any of the experience and knowledge that I possess. They have not taken the time to find out and I am not so eager to reveal – particularly when they are on the verge of open warfare with me.

They aren’t worth my time anyway, though.

Truth be told, based on what these insecure little boys in big man bodies have told me, my experience and knowledge extends far, far beyond what they possess. Perhaps they realize this on some primal level and it scares the living hell out of them. Gasp! A WOMAN is smarter than they are! They may have to start letting girls in the boy’s club! The horror!

So while yet another obnoxious, insecure male, feeling obviously intimidated by me, stands before me, talking down to me, trying his damndest to engage me in a pissing contest, I have to stifle a chuckle, shake my head and almost pity the poor sap. He has no clue, no clue at all.

Haha, but I have these guys pegged! Pay attention, girls, this is useful stuff. The insecure male will come in, attempting to create conflict (start a fight), talking down to you and treating you as if you are devoid of intelligence and common sense. Now, maybe they are addicted to the adrenaline rush that is created by conflict, or perhaps their pre frontal cortex is underactive and conflict acts as a stimulus, whatever the case, they are looking for some sort of stimulation, they need it.

Don’t give it to them. If you don’t give them their fix, you can effectively take away their power and take control of the situation. FYI, this works for both sexes, but for the purpose of this rant, I am speaking of males.

Oh, and when you find a guy who is secure and not intimidated by you, value him, whether it is in the workplace, among your friends or in a romantic relationship. These guys are gems, you can talk to them. In other words, don’t carry your baggage with you. Don’t automatically assume that just because every other ya-hoo you have ever encountered is an insecure, immature head case. Give guys the benefit of the doubt. If they have “issues” it won’t be long and they will reveal them to you. Just know what you are looking for and make a wide berth around insecure males.


Stay ahead of the game, ladies.

It is great being a girl. But being a smart girl? It’s freakin’ awesome!

The Woman I See

I look in the mirror and the woman I see
Is far different now than once upon a time
Perhaps it's the eyes
or the mind behind them.
I trace the curve of my hip
And follow the fullness of my breats
With a feather light touch.
I am not a supermodel
But I am OK
Even beautiful, sensual.
The woman in the mirror has
Sparkling eyes, a sharp wit, a tender touch.
She is beyond all that you see
From a place where there is no flat chested,
No fat,
No ugly.
She is pure, completely untouched
By a world that tells her she isn't pretty enough,
Isn't thin enough,
Isn't busty enough.
I don't have to have a perfect, tiny body
To be beautiful.
I just embrace the woman in the mirror
And enjoy who she is,
The beauty she possesses
And the sensuality within her,
All that are waiting to be discovered...

Far from Lazy Sunday...

After a fun and long weekend, it is time to start looking toward returning to the "real world." By real world I mean work and navigating our glorious Metro Rail System. I am breathless with anticipation.

OK, it isn't that bad, I love my job. However, I must admit that sleeping in, going out with friends and reading my book till all hours has spoiled me a bit. I did get some much needed rest, but now it is back to business.

The agenda for today consists of laundry, cleaning out my fridge and doing a little housekeeping. Earlier, I ran down to a little crepe place and had a wonderful whole wheat crepe with tomato, avocado, mushroom and swiss. Oh, and I also indulged in a white mocha.

I need to run to the market later and think I will sneak down to my favorite little bookstore. I am a bibliophile and must feed my addiction on a regular basis.

Think I will hit the gym later as well. I missed Friday and yesterday and my body is letting me know. I feel so much better when I work out regularly. My hard work is showing as well. I have already gone down several pants sizes since early March. It won't be long and I will reach my goal. Now THAT is exciting!

So, back to my not so lazy Sunday - my laundry is calling...

Happy 4th!

Last night was amazing! Fourth of July in Washington, DC with great friends, cool fireworks and lots of fun! My friend, Jeff, is out of town so he couldn't join us, but Staci, Michael and I walked down to G-Town.

We had a couple of drinks at one place, then we moved on to another great place and ended up at Chadwick's. There we had rootbeer bottlecaps (fantastic drink - just like the candy!) and dinner. I had never been to Chadwick's, but I will most definitely be back. The food there is awesome!

When it was time for the fireworks, we went outside to the waterfront and watched the display. It was beautiful.

Most people don't understand how significant it is for me to be in DC for the fourth, joining in the celebration. See, my father was Air Force, he was in politics, I was a poli sci major in college and I grew up with a very patriotic father. He was very idealistic and completely believed in the beauty, wonder and greatness of our country. He passed all that on to me. So, standing there last night, knowing where I was, seeing my life change and move in a direction I never dreamed possible, I was just so happy to be right there, right then.

Quite often it is the simple pleasures in life that carry us away...

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor...What's on your MP3?

My MP3 is my little buddy at work, at the gym, when I am cleaning out the fridge and while I am on the Metro. It holds some of the best that the music world has to offer from Eartha Kitt to Korn, Gary Hoey to Papa Roach, Cher to Drowning Pool. It is fairly schizophrenic but there is something for just about any musical taste.

I am in the process of including some Nat King Cole, Sinatra, Frankie Avalon (be still my heart!) and others who possess that silky smooth voice.

Confession time...I am an Elvis fan. There, I said it.

I love musicals like Guys and Dolls, West Side Story and Bye Bye Birdie. I also enjoy opera.

Classical music takes me to another place. I love the piano! There is a guy who plays the piano at a restaurant/bar near where I live. I have a little bit of a crush on him (I think he is gay, but, hey, it is MY fantasy! Let me have it!) - oh, those beautiful hands! He is an extremely talented piano player as well.

A mellow crooner can make me melt.

Acapella gives me goosebumps.

I love to dance too...(hint, hint)

It's Just A Typical Thursday...

I guess I am not so great at keeping this up lately. I have been so busy, but I am trying to do better.

We had some folks check out yesterday at work. They are headed home and to various disasters. Godspeed to them.

This left me with a very inviting unoccupied cubicle this morning. I passed it the first time with barely a glance. The second time, however, an interesting looking book caught my eye. Apparently it had been left behind and was just lying on the desk. I think I heard it calling to me.

I could not refuse, could not shut out the siren like sound of all the goodies that were possibly contained within the confines of the various drawers and cabinets.

I helplessly succumbed to the temptation - it was just too great.

You should know that around here pilfering is an art form. When someone checks out or moves, swarms descend upon the area to eagerly grab anything "good" that may have been left behind.

If you have thumbtacks, you can barter for just about anything.

I now have TWO boxes!

I also picked up a canvas shopping bag, paperclips, a couple of pens, a stapler, hand sanitizer, white out and duct tape (don't really know what I will do with that, but I am sure it will come in handy at some point!).

My former cellmate (uh, cube mate), an older gentleman from Hungary, was an expert at the art of pilfering. More than once I have suggested he write a handbook...

As his protege' I learned from the master and can stealthily swoop in and grab the goods without detection. (If you attract too much attention, others will come in and begin grabbing what they want - you might miss out on something way cool)

So, now I sit here with my canvas bag, thumbtacks and duct tape (for which I am still figuring out a creative use). What to do? What to do?

Brainiac

That was what my friends in college called me. At the time it was pretty cool. Even though I was 31, as a college student, regardless of age, you live in a somewhat protected envorinment. Back then, it seems like another life, people respected me for my intelligence. Well, most of them anyway. The man I was married to didn't appreciate it all that much - I still carry those scars.

That was my wake up call, though. I was shaken from my idealic little world and brutally thrust into reality. That first punch came from no where, but I was ready for the next one...I never fought back, it wasn't my way. Always the creative problem solver, I began to work on a way to get him out of my house and eventually out of my life - with minimal casualties.

And we all survived.

I learned the hard way, I guess, that some, no, many, men are threatened by a smart woman. Now, I don't claim to the all that exceptionally intelligent. For instance, I am not smart enough to be intimidated by people. But I can hold my own.

The problem is that the men I have met either make me feel guilty for being smart or they fiercely compete with me.

Why can't we all just get along???

I wonder if I will ever find someone who just lets me be me? I mean, why can't I find someone who thinks it's cool I am smart and just goes with it? There is so much more to me...I am tired of "dumbing down" so some male won't feel threatened or feel like he has to compete with me. Good grief, it isn't that big of a deal! Why can't we learn from each other? Why can't we each contribute and enrich each other's lives?

I wish I could find someone who would accept me just the way that I am...

Good Friends...

I have not had many friends in my lifetime, but as I get older I realize more and more how important it is to have good friends in your life. I have been going through a very rough patch the past couple of days.

However, I have this wonderful, loving friend who has helped me tremendously. He is a very special person, always there for me, always just a phone call or email away. When the terrible news came down, I emailed my friend and he was right there. No, it isn't anything like that; he isn't after me or anything. I am not his type. ;-)

Last night is a great example of what a good friend he is. I had not slept in two days and when I lay down to try to sleep last night, sleep just would not come. My kids were still up, they are pretty distressed over this trauma as well.

I tossed and turned a bit, then I picked up the phone and called my friend. It was 11 pm, but he picked up the phone and the first thing he asked was how I was doing. He asked if I was unable to sleep and I said yes. He then asked if I wanted to go get some pie from Kramer's. Not once did he chastise me for calling so late and there was not a hint of anything in his voice except for concern for a friend.

So, at 11 pm the kids and I found ourselves getting dressed and heading out of the hotel with him to Kramer's. We all laughed and talked and I actually had a good time. With all the worry and upset, it felt good to laugh with a friend and my kids. We ate way too much, but we had a good time. When we returned to the hotel a couple of hours later, we all promptly fell asleep.

I am a little tired today, but it is OK. Going out last night beat lying in bed, tossing and turning, thinking of everything going on in my life. It got my mind off of my problems and for a little while I didn't feel so upset.

My friend is a very special person. It feels good to know that I have someone who is there for me. I only hope that I can be as good a friend to him as he is to me.

Make Money Online

These are some great ways to make money online. Some of these sites are lists of websites and others are opportunities. I did some research and put these lists together when I was working with some voluntary agencies after Katrina. I was working for a federal agency at the time that was actively responding to the disaster, but I soon realized that while my agency addresses the immediate needs, the voluntary handle more of the long term issues.

So, I created a group of voluntary agencies so that they could all coordinate, address individuals' needs and help each other. As part of this I began to research ways that these individuals could make money at home. Many of the victims were already stressed out and traumatized, many were ill, disabled or injured. Many were not necessarily ready to go out and work at a full time job outside of the home. These opportunities allowed them to support themselves and their families while remaining in an environment where they felt safe. I included some freelance opportunities, work at home opportunities and fun stuff. If you now anyone who may be in a homebound situation or who would benefit from this information, please pass it on.

This is a listing of survey companies and other fun sites that pay you to take surveys, shop and get free stuff.
Money4Fun

These are actual companies that hire telecommuters for a variety of positions.
Work at Home Opportunities

These are some employment sites that advertise telecommuter jobs and freelance positions.
Telecommute Job Sites

This is a way cool site that pays you to talk with your friends, ask questions and get involved in discussions on a variety of topics.
My Lot

If you are looking for ways to make money online, this is a good place to start...

Service with a Smile???

I don’t know about you, but I find that professionalism and quality are sorely lacking in businesses including retail, goods and services. If I have to go into one more insurance agency and be forced to deal with yet another 8th grade flunkie with a chip on her shoulder I will lose my mind. If I walk into one more retail outlet and the clerk is chomping her gum while yaking on the phone about last night’s escapades while ignoring me I think I will just go ballistic.

I think that the reason service is so sorely lacking in our society today is because we, as consumers, have grown lax in our expectations. Consumers have become complacent with inferior service and unprofessional behavior. In short, we don’t expect quality service and professionalism so we don’t demand it. When we fail to demand it we certainly don’t get it.

However, one must proceed with care when making a move toward demanding good service. To “put your foot down” and demand that the service you receive improve rarely achieves the desired results. Usually, the reverse occurs. As the old saying goes, you can catch more flies with honey rings true in this situation. Treat the wait staff, sales clerk and bank teller with respect. Give them the benefit of the doubt, but if they fail to meet your expectations regarding service, do not hesitate to file a complaint with the establishment’s management.

I am a very good tipper when I get great service. In a restaurant, as a rule I tip 20% for exceptional service. Now, given some of the restaurants I frequent, this can result in a tidy chunk of change in a server’s pocket! As the service declines, so does the tip. But because I am a generous tipper, I receive very good service the majority of the time.

Don’t limit your tipping to just wait staff at a restaurant. Hairdressers, massage therapists, bell hops, sky hops, housekeeping and other service related vocations should be tipped as well. I tip housekeeping at my hotel from time to time. When the staff helps me carry my packages from shopping up to my room, I tip them.

So, the rules are simple: Generously tip the ones who give great service and when you run across those who are sorely lacking in service, let the management know. I have gone so far as to stop frequenting certain restaurants because of the service. I gave them a couple of chances, then I took my business elsewhere.

Hey, it isn’t perfect, I admit. But at least it is a start.



Thought for the day: Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

On Human Evil...

Throughout the course of my life, I have had several instances where I encountered human evil in its most vile forms. Each of these individuals was different and each possessed his or her unique traits, but there were and are several characteristics that were strikingly consistent. One characteristic that glaringly stands out is their overwhelming desire to force me to bend to their will. Each person was hell bent on forcing me to bend to their will, to do what they wanted whether I wanted to or not. This is not only the epitome of selfishness and self centeredness, not to mention entirely ego driven and narcissistic, it also feeds their need for complete control and is a classic characteristic of human evil as defined by Dr. M. Scott Peck.

Some of these people have been co-workers, spouses, even friends, while others have just been random psychos who don’t know me, yet feel it necessary to implement an attack against me. Maybe they all fit into the psycho category.

I find these people, the “evils,” to be completely revolting. I am repulsed by the mere thought of them. I feel unclean when in their presence, even in reading their email or public posting online. According to Dr. Peck, this is a natural response when someone who is not evil is in the presence of someone who is evil. The response I experience is very strong and even sometimes overwhelming – I am repulsed. This is why I have chosen not to associate with these people. I don’t visit their websites, don’t communicate with them, don’t email them, basically, I have nothing to do with them unless it is required through my job or some other reason. In short, I steer clear of them unless I absolutely must interact with them.

It drives them crazy.

If you want to get hate mail, have a hate blog taken out against you or experience the fury of a shunned evil who tries desperately to get you to talk to them, then just turn your back on them and stop communicating with them. They fly into this desperate rage because all of the plugs are pulled and they can no longer drain you of your energy and positivity. They now have absolutely no chance of controlling you and it drives them crazy.

Be prepared, though, because when you turn your back on an evil, they will try any and all underhanded, desperate, even deceitful ways to try to manipulate you and get you back into the fold. If you shun an evil at work, prepare for them to tattle to your boss and whine about how unfairly they have been treated. They may even fabricate tales to make themselves look better (and justified) and make you look bad. If you shun an evil in your family, be ready for them to try to divide the family and deplete you of your resources. A spouse or ex spouse will up their efforts to make your life a living hell. If someone has a hate website against you or is sending hate email, be ready for them to up their efforts. The more you ignore them, the angrier they get and the more hateful, cruel and manipulative the efforts to control you become.

They also don’t take criticism so great either. If you do anything that they perceive as potentially injurious to their narcissism or ego, they will flip out. They also get bent out of shape if you threaten their public image and self image. They will go to great lengths to defend their image (I am a good parent, I am a good person, I am a good wife). All I can say is beware.

The human evil will do whatever it takes to get you back in their control. They will manipulate, lie and deceive. They will hide behind a smile, hide behind their church, hide behind piety and hide behind the mountain of lies that they have created to make themselves look less evil. They are sneaky and often rather subtle in their evil until they are cornered or feel threatened. Then all bets are off and the attack is launched.

But beware the fangs behind the smile…