The Woman I See

I look in the mirror and the woman I see
Is far different now than once upon a time
Perhaps it's the eyes
or the mind behind them.
I trace the curve of my hip
And follow the fullness of my breats
With a feather light touch.
I am not a supermodel
But I am OK
Even beautiful, sensual.
The woman in the mirror has
Sparkling eyes, a sharp wit, a tender touch.
She is beyond all that you see
From a place where there is no flat chested,
No fat,
No ugly.
She is pure, completely untouched
By a world that tells her she isn't pretty enough,
Isn't thin enough,
Isn't busty enough.
I don't have to have a perfect, tiny body
To be beautiful.
I just embrace the woman in the mirror
And enjoy who she is,
The beauty she possesses
And the sensuality within her,
All that are waiting to be discovered...

Far from Lazy Sunday...

After a fun and long weekend, it is time to start looking toward returning to the "real world." By real world I mean work and navigating our glorious Metro Rail System. I am breathless with anticipation.

OK, it isn't that bad, I love my job. However, I must admit that sleeping in, going out with friends and reading my book till all hours has spoiled me a bit. I did get some much needed rest, but now it is back to business.

The agenda for today consists of laundry, cleaning out my fridge and doing a little housekeeping. Earlier, I ran down to a little crepe place and had a wonderful whole wheat crepe with tomato, avocado, mushroom and swiss. Oh, and I also indulged in a white mocha.

I need to run to the market later and think I will sneak down to my favorite little bookstore. I am a bibliophile and must feed my addiction on a regular basis.

Think I will hit the gym later as well. I missed Friday and yesterday and my body is letting me know. I feel so much better when I work out regularly. My hard work is showing as well. I have already gone down several pants sizes since early March. It won't be long and I will reach my goal. Now THAT is exciting!

So, back to my not so lazy Sunday - my laundry is calling...

Happy 4th!

Last night was amazing! Fourth of July in Washington, DC with great friends, cool fireworks and lots of fun! My friend, Jeff, is out of town so he couldn't join us, but Staci, Michael and I walked down to G-Town.

We had a couple of drinks at one place, then we moved on to another great place and ended up at Chadwick's. There we had rootbeer bottlecaps (fantastic drink - just like the candy!) and dinner. I had never been to Chadwick's, but I will most definitely be back. The food there is awesome!

When it was time for the fireworks, we went outside to the waterfront and watched the display. It was beautiful.

Most people don't understand how significant it is for me to be in DC for the fourth, joining in the celebration. See, my father was Air Force, he was in politics, I was a poli sci major in college and I grew up with a very patriotic father. He was very idealistic and completely believed in the beauty, wonder and greatness of our country. He passed all that on to me. So, standing there last night, knowing where I was, seeing my life change and move in a direction I never dreamed possible, I was just so happy to be right there, right then.

Quite often it is the simple pleasures in life that carry us away...

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor...What's on your MP3?

My MP3 is my little buddy at work, at the gym, when I am cleaning out the fridge and while I am on the Metro. It holds some of the best that the music world has to offer from Eartha Kitt to Korn, Gary Hoey to Papa Roach, Cher to Drowning Pool. It is fairly schizophrenic but there is something for just about any musical taste.

I am in the process of including some Nat King Cole, Sinatra, Frankie Avalon (be still my heart!) and others who possess that silky smooth voice.

Confession time...I am an Elvis fan. There, I said it.

I love musicals like Guys and Dolls, West Side Story and Bye Bye Birdie. I also enjoy opera.

Classical music takes me to another place. I love the piano! There is a guy who plays the piano at a restaurant/bar near where I live. I have a little bit of a crush on him (I think he is gay, but, hey, it is MY fantasy! Let me have it!) - oh, those beautiful hands! He is an extremely talented piano player as well.

A mellow crooner can make me melt.

Acapella gives me goosebumps.

I love to dance too...(hint, hint)

It's Just A Typical Thursday...

I guess I am not so great at keeping this up lately. I have been so busy, but I am trying to do better.

We had some folks check out yesterday at work. They are headed home and to various disasters. Godspeed to them.

This left me with a very inviting unoccupied cubicle this morning. I passed it the first time with barely a glance. The second time, however, an interesting looking book caught my eye. Apparently it had been left behind and was just lying on the desk. I think I heard it calling to me.

I could not refuse, could not shut out the siren like sound of all the goodies that were possibly contained within the confines of the various drawers and cabinets.

I helplessly succumbed to the temptation - it was just too great.

You should know that around here pilfering is an art form. When someone checks out or moves, swarms descend upon the area to eagerly grab anything "good" that may have been left behind.

If you have thumbtacks, you can barter for just about anything.

I now have TWO boxes!

I also picked up a canvas shopping bag, paperclips, a couple of pens, a stapler, hand sanitizer, white out and duct tape (don't really know what I will do with that, but I am sure it will come in handy at some point!).

My former cellmate (uh, cube mate), an older gentleman from Hungary, was an expert at the art of pilfering. More than once I have suggested he write a handbook...

As his protege' I learned from the master and can stealthily swoop in and grab the goods without detection. (If you attract too much attention, others will come in and begin grabbing what they want - you might miss out on something way cool)

So, now I sit here with my canvas bag, thumbtacks and duct tape (for which I am still figuring out a creative use). What to do? What to do?

Brainiac

That was what my friends in college called me. At the time it was pretty cool. Even though I was 31, as a college student, regardless of age, you live in a somewhat protected envorinment. Back then, it seems like another life, people respected me for my intelligence. Well, most of them anyway. The man I was married to didn't appreciate it all that much - I still carry those scars.

That was my wake up call, though. I was shaken from my idealic little world and brutally thrust into reality. That first punch came from no where, but I was ready for the next one...I never fought back, it wasn't my way. Always the creative problem solver, I began to work on a way to get him out of my house and eventually out of my life - with minimal casualties.

And we all survived.

I learned the hard way, I guess, that some, no, many, men are threatened by a smart woman. Now, I don't claim to the all that exceptionally intelligent. For instance, I am not smart enough to be intimidated by people. But I can hold my own.

The problem is that the men I have met either make me feel guilty for being smart or they fiercely compete with me.

Why can't we all just get along???

I wonder if I will ever find someone who just lets me be me? I mean, why can't I find someone who thinks it's cool I am smart and just goes with it? There is so much more to me...I am tired of "dumbing down" so some male won't feel threatened or feel like he has to compete with me. Good grief, it isn't that big of a deal! Why can't we learn from each other? Why can't we each contribute and enrich each other's lives?

I wish I could find someone who would accept me just the way that I am...

Good Friends...

I have not had many friends in my lifetime, but as I get older I realize more and more how important it is to have good friends in your life. I have been going through a very rough patch the past couple of days.

However, I have this wonderful, loving friend who has helped me tremendously. He is a very special person, always there for me, always just a phone call or email away. When the terrible news came down, I emailed my friend and he was right there. No, it isn't anything like that; he isn't after me or anything. I am not his type. ;-)

Last night is a great example of what a good friend he is. I had not slept in two days and when I lay down to try to sleep last night, sleep just would not come. My kids were still up, they are pretty distressed over this trauma as well.

I tossed and turned a bit, then I picked up the phone and called my friend. It was 11 pm, but he picked up the phone and the first thing he asked was how I was doing. He asked if I was unable to sleep and I said yes. He then asked if I wanted to go get some pie from Kramer's. Not once did he chastise me for calling so late and there was not a hint of anything in his voice except for concern for a friend.

So, at 11 pm the kids and I found ourselves getting dressed and heading out of the hotel with him to Kramer's. We all laughed and talked and I actually had a good time. With all the worry and upset, it felt good to laugh with a friend and my kids. We ate way too much, but we had a good time. When we returned to the hotel a couple of hours later, we all promptly fell asleep.

I am a little tired today, but it is OK. Going out last night beat lying in bed, tossing and turning, thinking of everything going on in my life. It got my mind off of my problems and for a little while I didn't feel so upset.

My friend is a very special person. It feels good to know that I have someone who is there for me. I only hope that I can be as good a friend to him as he is to me.