It has been a while since I posted here. My life has been full of ups and downs, joys and heartache. But that is how life goes, isn't it?

I have been reflecting lately on how resistant we can sometimes be to move on to the next chapter of our lives. I know as I move from chapter to chapter, many times it is pretty tough to turn the page. I have been struggling with this recently.

It is hard, scary and often lonely to leave the familiar pages, the things we know and move on to new pages that contain unfamiliar territory and uncertain outcomes.

There is also the heartache of leaving behind the comfort and familiarity, the intimacy of the people in our lives. With growth there are some we can take with us and some we must leave behind. And we don't always have a say in these matters. Sometimes those people leave or are taken from us.

So how do we turn that page? How do we push on through and move forward? It would feel so good to just have things the way they were, no changes, no new chapter. But life isn't like that.

In the end, it's our experiences that define us, that makes us who we are. It is more than that though. It is also how we choose to handle those experiences, what we learn and the opportunities we discover in the process that truly build us, strengthen us, define us.

God doesn't place on us more than we can bear, but sometimes we have to reach for Him, depend on Him for comfort and peace during those times in the wilderness. He won't place on us more than we can bear, but He will give us more than we can handle alone.

Matthew 10:29-31 reminds us that we are not alone. Jesus knows every tear that we shed, every pain in our heart, every desolate thought that invades our mind.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.
30"But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31"So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows."

He will give us comfort if we just ask. Sometimes it will be a peace, a stillness that He places in our heart. Other times, He directs people into our lives who can help and comfort.

All we have to do is ask.

Exits and Entries...

Tom Stoppard said that every exit is an entry somewhere else. As I enter my new life, my new world, I have had time to reflect on what I am exiting. I am leaving behind certain people and things in my life who would have held me back, been overly critical and lacked the dreaming, ambition and hope that has gotten me to this point. I have grown while others in my life did not. That is just a fact of life that, and while I do not celebrate it, I do not regret it either.

Last night the kids and I spent our first night in our new home. We are so excited about it! It is a beautiful little townhouse in a community that is a little more upscale. It is located in the wealthiest county in the state which means top notch schools, reduced crime rate and just a much nicer place to live. It also means I pay a little more, but it is worth it. Plus, I can afford it. :-) Even without the child support that I haven't seen a dime of in who knows how long, I can still afford it.

Best of all, I am doing this ON MY OWN. I don't have to depend on some man to support me, to pay my bills, to keep my head above water. I am doing it on my own, supporting my children and building our life here. I admit, it is a little scary sometimes; that is an awful lot of responsibility, but I know that I can do it. I have faith in myself and I have faith that God will direct my life in the best way for me and the best way that serves Him.

Plus, I have awesome friends who will always be there to help me if I ever get in a bind.

So, this weekend will be very busy, what with setting up our new home and doing fun stuff with the kids. We are going to see a movie this weekend with some friends and have some dinner. I have wonderful friends who are very dear to me. I would be lost without them.

Maybe some time next week I will post photos of our new place...