It has been a while since I posted here. My life has been full of ups and downs, joys and heartache. But that is how life goes, isn't it?

I have been reflecting lately on how resistant we can sometimes be to move on to the next chapter of our lives. I know as I move from chapter to chapter, many times it is pretty tough to turn the page. I have been struggling with this recently.

It is hard, scary and often lonely to leave the familiar pages, the things we know and move on to new pages that contain unfamiliar territory and uncertain outcomes.

There is also the heartache of leaving behind the comfort and familiarity, the intimacy of the people in our lives. With growth there are some we can take with us and some we must leave behind. And we don't always have a say in these matters. Sometimes those people leave or are taken from us.

So how do we turn that page? How do we push on through and move forward? It would feel so good to just have things the way they were, no changes, no new chapter. But life isn't like that.

In the end, it's our experiences that define us, that makes us who we are. It is more than that though. It is also how we choose to handle those experiences, what we learn and the opportunities we discover in the process that truly build us, strengthen us, define us.

God doesn't place on us more than we can bear, but sometimes we have to reach for Him, depend on Him for comfort and peace during those times in the wilderness. He won't place on us more than we can bear, but He will give us more than we can handle alone.

Matthew 10:29-31 reminds us that we are not alone. Jesus knows every tear that we shed, every pain in our heart, every desolate thought that invades our mind.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.
30"But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31"So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows."

He will give us comfort if we just ask. Sometimes it will be a peace, a stillness that He places in our heart. Other times, He directs people into our lives who can help and comfort.

All we have to do is ask.

My Picture Wall...

I have a wall in my house that I plan to use as a display for some of my photography. I have selected some photos and am still pulling more together. I wanted to share some with you, though.
Enjoy...

Finding Unexpected Joy

Many times, joy does not come knocking on our door. Quite often, we have to go out and find it. The most fun, though, is finding joy in unexpected places. That is what happened today.

Yesterday, Micah started a new school that works better with her dyslexia. It is a great school, but it requires that she take the city bus to get there and to get home. Micah has never taken the bus, so I thought there would be some challenges. I had no idea...

Yesterday afternoon, after school, she called me. She had gotten on one bus, but when she reached the transfer point, she could not find the bus she was to transfer to. She was confused and upset, but I tried to talk her through it. In the middle of talking, her phone went dead.

Now, I was at work and when the line went dead, I got a little upset. I left work, drove to the Metro station where she was and walked all over it (with my bad ankle) until I found her. I drove her home, but today I took her through the route so that she would be comfortable with it.

Now, yesterday was beautiful. It was sunny, slightly cool and clear.

Today -- snow.

By the time we got to the bus stop near her school (with several blocks to still walk) it was snowing and sleeting.

Oh, did I mention that I did not bring an umbrella?

But, we walked through the freezing rain and snow, laughing and talking.

I sat there at her school while she was in class and when it was over we started back for the bus ride home.

Oh, and it was raining by that time.

We were freezing, wet and laughing all the way. At one point she said, "Mom, most people think that we are sisters or best friends, but I think you are my best friend. We talk about everything and laugh and have fun together."

So, I found joy walking in the freezing rain, hair soaking wet, feet cold, ankle hurting.

And you know what? I would do it all again tomorrow.

A Week in Pictures...

Well, today is the last day of my vacation. In some ways I hate to see it end because I have had a great time hanging out with the kids. On the other hand, I can't wait to get back to work! I have a very large, high profile project that I will launch right in to and I am really pumped about it. I have worked long and hard on this project, took some time away to work on another project and now have come full circle to revisit it. I am psyched to get back in the game!

This week has been fun, albeit my bout with the Martian Death Flu. We did brave a trip into DC earlier in the week and are going back today. The trips are brief and I don't over exert myself (this is why it is so great being so close to The District!).

I thought, though, that I would share some fun photos of some of our adventures thus far...

We went to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. Here, Ben and Micah struck a pose for me (I was being an "old lady" and sitting on the floor, resting). I think it is so great that they are so close. They are two years apart in age, but everyone thinks that they are twins because they are so close.

Micah is so animated, pretty and funny! She is shy at first, then that sparkling personality just bursts forth! I think that she was talking to her friend Laura here. She smiles all the time, though, and is very easy to laugh. She is an absolute joy.

Ben wanted some "cool band photos" with his guitar so I got down on the floor and took them from a different perspective and a larger aperture to narrow the field of focus. It just gives a different, cool perspective.

Micah wanted a cool shot of her hair (she has gorgeous hair) so I took this. I typically bounce the flash when indoors so I can get a warmer, more natural look, but this time I directed it to her so that it highlighted her hair. The effect was pretty cool!

This is just a fun shot of Ben shredding his guitar. He plays the guitar (obviously) and composes his own music. He also writes some amazing songs. Micah writes great stories as well. Guess they both took after their mom in that respect! We are a family of writers!

So, that is our week in pictures (abbreviated version). Maybe I will post more this weekend...

Christmas at Our Crib

It is Christmas Eve. I just asked Ben to go wake up his sister so we can whip this house into shape.

I got the impish grin. Scary.

"Be nice!" I called to him as he climbed the stairs.

The next thing I heard was an innocent voice calling down to me, "Mom, where's the nearest outlet?"

This could NOT be good.

The next thing I heard was, well, I'll let the photos tell the story...



And this was Micah's response:



When she did get up and come downstairs, he followed her, guitar in hand, playing a song, making up the words as he went:

Wake up, Micah
Get out of bed
get up
uncover your head

Brush your hair
Brush your teeth
get out of bed
I'll feed you beef (we had steak last night - leftovers)

It went on and on like that, him making up the words as he went, all of us laughing.

Good thing she is such a good sport!

My Favorite Photos...

This is probably my favorite photo of Micah and Ben. It shows how close they are, how much they love each other. It shows their personalities and is just a fun photo.



This is another favorite photo of mine. This was taken when Micah was getting ready for her very first school dance. She was (and is) absolutely gorgeous!



I also love this shot of Ben. He loves his music and this one of him playing his guitar just tells it all.



I have some other favorite photos, but we'll get to that later...

Exits and Entries...

Tom Stoppard said that every exit is an entry somewhere else. As I enter my new life, my new world, I have had time to reflect on what I am exiting. I am leaving behind certain people and things in my life who would have held me back, been overly critical and lacked the dreaming, ambition and hope that has gotten me to this point. I have grown while others in my life did not. That is just a fact of life that, and while I do not celebrate it, I do not regret it either.

Last night the kids and I spent our first night in our new home. We are so excited about it! It is a beautiful little townhouse in a community that is a little more upscale. It is located in the wealthiest county in the state which means top notch schools, reduced crime rate and just a much nicer place to live. It also means I pay a little more, but it is worth it. Plus, I can afford it. :-) Even without the child support that I haven't seen a dime of in who knows how long, I can still afford it.

Best of all, I am doing this ON MY OWN. I don't have to depend on some man to support me, to pay my bills, to keep my head above water. I am doing it on my own, supporting my children and building our life here. I admit, it is a little scary sometimes; that is an awful lot of responsibility, but I know that I can do it. I have faith in myself and I have faith that God will direct my life in the best way for me and the best way that serves Him.

Plus, I have awesome friends who will always be there to help me if I ever get in a bind.

So, this weekend will be very busy, what with setting up our new home and doing fun stuff with the kids. We are going to see a movie this weekend with some friends and have some dinner. I have wonderful friends who are very dear to me. I would be lost without them.

Maybe some time next week I will post photos of our new place...